The Search for Happiness
Who wouldn’t want happiness in life?
Scientific research now backs up what we’ve always intuitively known. Here are 10 simple steps you can take to increase happiness in your life.
1. Do good to feel good.
You get a nice hit of feel-good endorphins when you help someone else. Give time, money, love, or energy. It doesn’t have to be complicated. You can give someone a hug or a compliment. Or you can write a note of acknowledgment, pop in to visit someone who is lonely or reach out to help someone who is struggling. This is an easy and free way to find happiness in life.
2. Build strong relationships.
People who have many loving relationships are happier, healthier and live longer. Make it a priority to spend time with the people you love, make new friends and strengthen your existing friendships. If you aren’t sure where to begin, start by spending more time with your family. For example, call your parents and tell them you love them, play with your kids, and set up a weekly game or a movie night with friends. To make new friends, join a club or organization that sounds like fun (e.g., realdadsnetwork.org, book club @lookgoodfeelgoodexperience, or sports leagues). Small, kind gestures make a big difference to building and strengthening relationships. Send a thoughtful note or an invite to have coffee or meet for lunch. (Tip: Get your personal and emotional needs met and you’ll find it easier to attract the people and opportunities you want.)
3. Exercise!
You’ve heard it before, but science confirms that exercise makes us happier overall and can relieve depression. Find happiness in life by introducing exercise and healthy habits in the following ways. Spend time outdoors and get fresh air every day. Walk, eat fresh fruit and veggies, get plenty of sleep. Drink filtered water. Try yoga or dance, join a gym or fitness group…just get moving and you’ll feel better. In fact, exercise is so important to our health and well-being that any investment in your health will save you money in the long run. So, if you lack motivation, then hire a life coach or personal trainer. In time you’ll discover your inner motivation. It is okay to start small and easy. Take a five-minute walk. Just starting is the key.
4. Focus on the present and enjoy the moment fully.
Another way to find happiness in life is to be mindful. Notice your surroundings. Enjoy the small things in life. Take a moment to notice some flowers. Nobody sees a flower really, it is so small. We haven’t time, and to really see takes time—like to really be a friend takes time. Tip: it helps to unplug and slow down. Try a phone-free day or evening. Write in a journal to give yourself time to reflect on the day. Jot down the small things you are grateful for in a diary or try a mindfulness app.
5. Have something to look forward to every day.
Set a big goal that excites you and may even scare you a bit. Then get some support to reach it. Most people find their purpose or direction and look forward to living it daily. They do this by doing value-based projects. Align your goals to your core values and you’ll enjoy the journey regardless of the end result.
6. Keep your brain engaged.
Learn something new to challenge your brain cells. Become more observant, collect ideas, read books, take a course, learn to play an instrument, study a language, or try anything new that excites you. Stay fresh and curious about life by being a lifelong learner.
7. Develop resilience.
Life will inevitably throw a few curveballs at you along the way. Ask yourself how this might be a good thing? The toughest challenges and setbacks can lead us to new, better and more creative solutions. At the very least, challenges are character building as you learn to develop strength, patience and resilience in tough times. You may need your friends, a bit of money tucked away in the bank for tough times, and a plan . The longer you live, the more curveballs you’ll encounter. Call on friends for support, seek advice from a counselor, therapist or your church to get you through a crisis. There are loads of people who have experienced the pain you feel and are happy to help.
8. Focus on the good stuff.
Our brains are naturally wired up to latch onto the bad stuff, often overlooking all the good stuff. You might get a great employee evaluation but then can’t take your mind off the one negative comment. Deliberately shift your focus to the good. If you can’t think of anything good in the moment, remember that this too shall pass. Deliberately keep your comments positive. Smile. Watch a funny movie. Talk to an upbeat positive friend to get a better perspective.
9. Strengthen your strengths.
Be gentle with yourself. You will never speak to anyone more than you speak to yourself in your head. We tend to be harder and more critical on ourselves than our worst enemies. Be kind to yourself, and instead of trying to improve your weaknesses, focus on mastering your strengths. See if you can’t delegate your weaknesses to someone else.
10. Reward yourself for positive actions.
Most people accomplish more than they realize, yet are constantly beating themselves up because they focus on what they didn’t get done instead. One of the most successful leaders I know makes a point of highlighting all the things he accomplishes on his to do list. His goal is to create a fully yellow page by the end of the day. Then, when he finishes a full page, he gives himself a small reward. Our brains are hard-wired to do more when we get a reward, however small. You’ll feel happier about yourself if you focus on your accomplishments, which will motivate you to accomplish even more over time. If you focus on what you didn’t do, you might end up feeling discouraged and stop moving forward.
I leave you with this final thought provoking question,